Another in a Series of Lame Satires

Another is a series of lame satires meant as serious efforts to point out the hypocrisy of substituting short term self interest for long tem social justice. .

The Actual Non-Fiction Background can be found Here in my Previous Post and Should be Read First

Bogus Headline Stories - October 5, 2007

AUNG SAN LUU KYI DISINVITED FROM SPEAKING ENGAGEMENT

Word has just been received that the 1991 Nobel Peace Prize Winner, Aung San Luu Kwi, who, through extensive negotiations, had received permission to leave her home, where for years she has been under house arrest, to speak in the United States has been informed in a letter that she is no longer welcome to speak at Temple Beth Your Bottom Dollar.

The temple noted her ongoing comments critical of the Military Junta that rules Burma with an iron hand, especially her recent criticisms of the recent crackdown in which the military shot and killed protesters who had thrown objects at the soldiers and based their decision on objections heard from a variety of sources.

Noted Law Professor Ellen Trashowitz strongly objected to singling out one government when there are so many other places around the world where a ruling party is subjecting many of its people to brutal treatment in violation of international human rights. (She did note also that in 1990, the Burma military junta had proposed that their citizens be referred to as “The Chosen People” but, unfortunately, that name had already been trademarked a few thousand years ago by Korea.)

Alan Wolfman, the head of the LABGI (League against Anyone who Badmouths the Government of Israel), has pointed out that although there is no proof, there have been reports through the years of sales of military equipment and supplies by Israel to the Burma military junta which need to be denied regularly by the Government of Israel as in the concluding sentence of this recent Ha’aretz article. Keeping that in mind, he strongly objected to Aung San Luu Kwi being given a forum to attack the government of Burma because it would give credence to the libels against the State of Israel similar to those in the Protocols of Zion and would be therefore, while not directly anti-semitic, a platform for those who are anti-semites.

The American Israel Politically Motivated Council (AIPMC) weighed in also by noting a recent speech in Geneva by the Burma Ambassador to the UN, U Nyunt Swe (Mr. Kyaw Tint Swe) in which he said that the protests had sought to overthrow the regime and had been stoked by outside interests, but that the government had managed to restore calm, that the government has firm evidence that these protests were being helped both financially and materially by internal and external anti-government elements. He added that as all are aware, things have calmed down and we are able to bring normalisation to the situation. “It is clear to us in AIPMC that these protestors are troublemakers and that whatever force is needed must be taken to prevent further disruption in the country.”

Not unexpectedly a statement was received from the White House drafted by the White House foreign affairs consulting firm of Foxowitz, Pearls, Popes and Abrahams “Keep her outta there. She’s working with those Buddhist monks who are nothing but a pack of terrorists jealous of the freedoms provided by the Burma Military Junta. We don’t know whether we would even give her a visa or allow her into the United States”

The Council of Burmese Presidents (CBP) and the American Burma Public Affairs Committee (ABPAC) demanded that there be balance and that no presentation be permitted unless someone from the Military Junta’s State Peace and Development Council be present to provide the other side to the story. While there have been anecdotal evidence of pressure and intimidation through the years by these two organizations to prevent open discussion about the brutality of the government, it is expected that a book soon to be published, “The Burma Lobby”, written by two respected scholars (both expects on Burma and the writings of George Bernard Shaw and known as “BurmaShavians”) will finally provide a forum for a deeper examination of the tentacles of influence of Burma’s Peace and Development Council.

The temple said that, after extensive outreach, they had been unable to get Senior Gen. Than Shwe (the superstitious one who consults with astrologers but is extremely taciturn in public) or the ruthless Deputy Senior General Maung Aye to agree to participate in the program thereby forcing then to take back the invitation to Aung San Luu Kwi.

UNIVERSITY OF ST. RANGOON BARS SPEECH BY JESUS
In a related surprise announcement, the President of the University of St. Rangoon has demanded the cancellation of a program being sponsored by that school’s Peace and Justice Foundation. The keynote speaker was to be Jesus who agreed to return to earth to provide comments about the current situation in Burma. The President had been informed by a member of the Burmese Community Relations Council that in the New Testament, more specifically in Matthew, Jesus been quoted as follows: "What good will it be for a man if he gains the whole world, yet forfeits his soul?" … “I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Therefore, whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven.'" … "Do not murder, do not commit adultery, do not steal, do not give false testimony, honor your father and mother, and love your neighbor as yourself." The President believes that these quotes were, in effect, critical of the government of Burma and that, for this reason, Jesus should be barred from the campus.